Socialize before you go

In general, people are social creatures.  We have our family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and acquaintances.  In this, the technological age, we also have facebook, twitter, linkedin and a multitude of other social networking sites.  Social groups surround us.  Unfortunately, most of the social circles we frequent are populated by those that share the same views, opinions and philosophies as ourselves.  Once we announce our decision to visit another country, to become a traveler, the responses from our social circles will range from disbelief,  jealousy and the age old statement, "are you crazy?"

The timing is right to join a new social group, a group that travels.  Almost every major city has one, and if they don't it isn't that difficult to start one.  All you need is a couple of people who want to sit and discuss traveling, you will find people everywhere that will talk of travel.

Betty and I found one such group, they meet once a month at a Panera Bread restaurant.  I hesitate to call it a restaurant, it fits more into the café or bistro category.  Anyway, we ventured to a meeting about three months ago and found four other travelers that enjoy Europe and most importantly, for me, they had all been to Paris.

As all four are experienced travelers they were more than willing to share their experiences, tips and advice.  Most of what they shared confirmed what I had learned through reading travel forums and travel blogs.  One member of the group regaled us with how he lost his camera on a recent trip.  He said he took all the precautions, was alert, kept his back to the wall of the public transport he was using but someone still managed to get inside his backpack and take his camera.  Lesson learned, don't carry anything you are not willing to lose.  But then again, the majority of travelers the world over never encounter any mishaps.  Just be prepared but don't let it ruin your trip.

The most important thing we took away from our meeting was we found other people who travel.  People that have the same itch to travel as we do.  Do we agree with everything said, every piece of advice we receive, of course not, that is an important draw for us.  Different people with a common interest that do not necessarily share common beliefs.  Howevere, we are able to expand ourselves through discussions and experiences shared.  We are behaving as most people do.

We are socializing.

Talk to Each Other

 Note - Always make sure you save a draft.  I had written a post that was the literary equivalent of Hemingway at his finest and didn't save it.  Well, maybe not the literary equivalent of Hemingway but it was better than most grade school essays.  Anyway, since I didn't save a draft, I lost it all and now will attempt to coax it onto the screen again.  Excuse me while I reach into the dusty cobweb filled corners of my brain.

In my last post I talked about our decision to not travel with a carved in stone itinerary however, this doesn't mean I am not planning what I would like to do and see while in Paris.  Of course, I am also trying to plan activities that Betty would enjoy as well.  And that is where the title of this post comes in.

I'm an art lover, not an afficiando mind you, I just happen to love art.  I can explain the reasons different artists attempted certain styles, more or less.  I understand art beyond the saying, "I know what I like".  Well, I do know what I like but even if I don't care for a particular style I can appreciate the talent, passion and courage it took for the artist to place his brush to canvas or chisel to stone.  That being said, I could spend my entire time in Paris wandering through the multitude of museums and galleries and never be bored.

Betty is of a different mind.

Betty likes art, she appreciates the skill required to perform in the craft however, it just isn't her thing.  Betty likes the history, not the history of who ruled what area during which time period.  She isn't concerned with Marie Antoinette or Napoleon rather, she is interested in the daily history.  Betty wants to know how they survived the times, how did they make their clothes, shoes, furniture.  The history of daily life is what fascinates her. She even goes beyond just learning about the history, she wants to learn how they did it.  Betty wanted to learn to weave, I made her a small loom, she listened to others and taught herself how to weave simple patterns.  That is her interest.

So, being the good husband that I am, I planned a three day trip to Carcassonne, France where she could walk through an actual medieval walled city.  I researched it and discovered that it wasn't just a walled city, it is listed as a Unesco World Heritage Site, I figure this is history Betty will LOVE!

Bzzzzzz .... wrong.

When I first told Betty about Carcassonne she was excited but the excitement quickly waned when we found out Carcassonne still has a village within its walls.  A village populated by modern people going about their normal modern daily life.  My lovely wife informed me that while she was sure Carcassonne would be worth the trip and she would find it all interesting, it wasn't what she was really looking for.  What she is looking for is an authentic medieval village populated with people living as they did during the middle ages or renaissance eras.  Practicing the crafts of then, going about the daily life as it was during that time.  So, back to the drawing board.

This all reinforces the title of this post, you have to talk to each other and plan out activities.  Not an itinerary, just a list of places and activities you would like to see and do.  If I hadn't talked to Betty I would have drug her to Carcassonne only to be disappointed.  Not in the city but in what I would have hoped would have been a fantastic day for my wife.  A day she would not have enjoyed nearly as much as I thought she would.

Bottom line, if you are planning to travel with another person, talk to them.  Otherwise, one of you will always be disappointed.

To have an itinerary or not to have an itinerary

That is the question (heartfelt apologies to Shakespeare).

Many travelers must have each day planned, some are planned to the minute.  Others, prefer to not plan anything, wandering the streets discovering what is around the next corner.  At work, I have a very regimented day.  Certain tasks must be completed at certain times, others must be completed between this time and that time.  If I miss completing a task I affect over 100 points of logistical distribution.  Betty's job is the same, specific tasks completed at specific times or the result is pure chaos.  Naturally, when we have time away we like to move without ordered plans which brought me to query to myself, I said "Self, should we go to Paris with a detailed itinerary or not?"  And Self said, "Introspection should occur to remind oneself the events that unfolded unto you to arrive at Paris."  Translation - remember why you're only going to Paris.

And it was true, the original plan was Athens, Paris, London, Inverness and Edinburgh.  We were looking at 5 to 6 days per stop, with such a limited amount of time in each place we made an itinerary of everything we "had" to see in each city.  The itinerary came to life, ridiculed us for trying to cram so much into so short a time.  Betty and I finally decided to choose one location and relax.  We slayed the soul eating monster named Itinerary and retired to blissful slumber.

But, (you knew there was a "but" coming) reading through travel forums I kept running across several posts asking for members to review, comment and give advice on itineraries.  I began to doubt myself (Self is notoriously unreliable), maybe I was wrong.  Maybe I need a plan, maybe I'm crazy.  To comfort myself I started a thread titled "Am I Crazy?", which you can read here if you're so inclined Am I Crazy?  The response was very comforting with great suggestions by many.

Overall, I can say I'm not crazy.  There are several travelers that have no planned itinerary, only a list of things they would like to do so as not to miss anything special that happens to be running while they are there.  Likewise, there are several that feel the need to have that itinerary, even if they don't follow it, it comforts them knowing they have a plan.  Both travel styles work, it depends on personal style.

And, apparently, I am very fortunate to have 3 weeks to spend in Paris.  I guess that is true but from my viewpoint, Betty and I have worked long and hard on not only our marriage but also our jobs.  In no way do we feel entitled to this trip or the time we are taking, we have earned our vacation time and we both have very understanding bosses and co-workers that are willing to cover for us while we are gone.  Actually, after typing that, I guess we really are fortunate.

So, with Self being placated, I turned to looking at what would be going on in Paris while we are there.

In 2013, Notre Dame will celebrate its 850th anniversary.  There are plans to update the pipe organ, scrub it down and let her put her best face to the world.  I'm sure there are other events planned to mark this milestone as well.  Notre Dame was already on our "to see" list but now it has been bumped up a bit so we don't miss her birthday celebration.

Sunday July 14, 2013 is Bastille Day, a celebration marking the end of absolute French monarchy and the beginning of the French Revolution and birth of the sovereign Nation eventually leading to the birth of a French Republic.  This National Holiday is marked by parades, fireworks and several parties, I'm sure we will participate in this.

The Flea Market at Saint Ouen.  From what I can tell, this is one of the largest, if not THE largest flea market in Paris.  Vendors sell everything from tourist trap crap to fine antiques and is a wonderful way to spend a day.  Both Betty and I love to scrounge around flea markets, our home decor attests to this.  We have found wonderful antique clocks, cedar chests, oil lamps, kitchen gadgets and so much more.  Yep, we'll spend a day or two there.

There are a host of events and activities occurring during the time we will be there, we have already started our list of things to see and do.  Not an itinerary mind you, just options so we never wake up and wonder what we're going to do that day.

Although, I can't imagine that will happen.

Research is Scary

Whether you research your trip though official Tourist Information sites or use the numerous travel forums, you will inevitably see the "bad" stuff of where you are visiting.  Personal safety is a valid concern, as well as robbery, mugging and the host of other crimes against persons we are all too familiar with in the Untied States.

Violent crimes are uncommon in Europe.  However, pickpockets and scams are very common.  After reading though several websites. blogs, travel forums and official Tourist Information sites here is what I have learned.

 Beware the Pickpocket

While pickpocketing is common, the true pickpocket is a rarity.  The true pickpocket will be in and out of your pockets, purse, backpack and long gone before you realize you had anything taken.  More commonly, you will experience the diversion style of pickpocketing.  You should be on the lookout for groups of children, they will encircle you and basically cause chaos around you.  While you're distracted they will be picking through everything they can.  There are also reports of women walking up to tourists and literally tossing a baby into your arms, often the "baby" is just a doll wrapped in a blanket.  Naturally you will catch the child, can't have the poor thing dropped to the ground like a fumbled football, while you're arms are busy holding the baby the woman begins making a scene and starts tugging at your clothes.  She is really picking through anything she can get hold of.

The best defense for these situations is to be aware of your surroundings, which you should be anyway.  But, in today's "have to be connected to everyone all the time" world, it is very easy to find someone distracted by their phones.  The constant phone calls, texts, pics and videos coupled with being in a wonderfully new enriching environment makes distracting someone almost too easy.  So, be aware of where you are and who is around you.  Search YouTube for a few examples of pickpockets in action.  While pickpocketing is common in Europe, you are more likely to encounter the scam artists  that make the major tourist sites their home.

There are several scams running in Europe, quite a few have been documented to 100 years ago, or more.  From what I have read, most of these are harmless and rely on you, the tourist, not having done any research.  Here are just a few.

The Petition

 According to what I have read on several travel forums as well as in different travel books, the petition scam could possibly be the first scam you encounter.  Apparently, youngsters will approach you and try to get you to sign their petition.  Often they pretend to be deaf and mute. Once you sign the petition they turn it over and show they need a 10 € donation.  Of course they are just asking for the donation, you're not obligated to give them anything.  Although, if you do not give them the donation they will follow you and harass you in an attempt to wear you down.  The best defense, don't even acknowledge their existence when they approach you.

The Gold Ring

 In this scam, someone will "find" a gold wedding band and return it to you.  They will insist you dropped it and it is only through their kindness you get to have it again.  They will then walk away only to confront you again moments later to remind you of their kindness and ask for a reward.  Trying to give the ring back apparently doesn't work as they keep insisting the ring is yours.  They may tell you they are short of money and he, or she, is hungry and also needs to feed their family.  Offering food doesn't work either as they will deftly change the need to clothing, shoes or whatever they can think of at the time.  Once again, you are not obligated to give them anything for their "kindness" but if you don't, be prepared to be followed, harassed and interfered with until either you give them something or they give up, which I understand is very unlikely.  The best way to avoid them, keep walking and ignore them.


The Friendship Bracelet

 This scam is supposedly very prevalent at Sacre Couer in Paris.  You will be approached by someone (usually an African male if my research is correct) who will tell you a very nice story of his country while tying a friendship bracelet on your wrist.  Once again, when he is done he will ask for a donation.  And once again, if you don't give him a donation he will follow you and try to make your life hell for the several minutes.  The best defense once again, ignore him when he approaches you and keep walking.


You may be asking yourself at this point if this is so common why aren't the police cracking down on it.  The answer is simple.  A true pickpocket is very difficult to catch and the distraction type of pickpocketing occurs so fast you may not realize it happened until they are scattered making them difficult to catch as well.  As for the scams, begging is not illegal in Paris.  Since they are not strictly requiring you to pay them, what they are doing is legal if not very annoying.

You may also be wondering why you would want to visit any country where this occurs.  As a matter of fact, on the Trip Advisor Forums one Paris resident stated after reading all the forum posts about the numerous scams and pickpockets, he was scared to go outside ... and he lives there.  Of course, he was joking.  To keep all this in perspective, remember, millions of people travel to different countries every year, a small percentage will actually experience the "bad" stuff.  Unfortunately, it is that small percentage that is the most vocal about how terrible their trip was because they got "ripped off". 

If only they had done a little research before they left, they could have avoided the scams and had positive memories.  So, be aware of you surroundings and ignore the scam artists and you should be fine.  Maybe we're being naive but that's the way Betty and I plan to approach our trip.